Double Take by Elizabeth Breck

Author:Elizabeth Breck [Breck, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Crooked Lane Books

Chapter Fifteen

Wednesday 8:05 AM

Madison rolled over and looked at the clock. She’d had such trouble going to sleep, first of all because of the caffeine, second of all because of her thoughts about Travis. She was old enough to understand that lust had nothing to do with love: being attracted to someone didn’t mean anything. But the attraction was startling. She hadn’t been with a guy other than Dave since her mastectomy; what would another guy think about her foobs? And what if her implants had to come out? Dave had said she would still be beautiful, but what would another guy think? It must matter to them. If you took off your shirt and all you had was a flat chest with two scars running across it, that mustn’t be appealing to a guy. Yes, I’ll sleep with you, oh by the way, I have no boobs. It reminded her of the male plastic surgeon she’d consulted with before her mastectomy. When she’d told him she was considering just going flat, he was aghast and tried to talk her into getting implants: “They’ll feel just like real breasts!”

“To whom?” Madison had said. They only felt real to a man who was grabbing at them. To Madison, they were numb blobs of chemicals pushing up against her pectoral muscles; they didn’t feel real at all.

She rolled to a sitting position and contemplated standing. She also didn’t know what to make of Travis’s attempt to come onto her. Could it be nothing more than he was feeling the same attraction she felt, but he was a guy, so he automatically acted on his feelings? Was she normalizing male dominating behavior or something? Those thoughts were too deep first thing in the morning when she was exhausted. She got up, put her hair in a bun, and jumped in the shower.

The most important item on the day’s agenda was to get the thumb drive she had stolen from Viceroy’s office, along with Barrett’s phone, over to Arlo. She decided to forego breakfast and get coffee on the way. She toweled off, put on yoga pants and a vintage Aerosmith concert T-shirt that she’d picked up at a thrift shop, and walked into the living area.

She looked out the window and saw a clear blue sky. That told her nothing when it came to temperature, so she opened the front door. The morning air was cool and crisp. Madison took a deep breath and put her hands up over her head, and then bent at the waist, lowering until her palms were touching the one-hundred-year-old wood on the landing. She normally worked out several days a week, but her life was on hold until she found Barrett. She stood and looked out over the ocean. Why did autumn feel so much like new beginnings? It made more sense that spring would feel that way, but to Madison the autumnal change in the air felt like hope for a new day. Her phone went off with a text, and she went back inside.

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